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Not Yet

Liliana of the Veil, for Magic the Gathering.  Artwork by Steve Argyle

A father to son heart to heart, from a little known Empire Strikes Back deleted scene:


Luke, first of all, we all want you to know we care about you. But your careless foray into the cult of Jediism has negatively affected us in the following ways: You alienated your family, Uncle Owen and Aunt Veru. They burned to death because you left the pickle-a-droid͛ chemical bath on. You’ve developed some sort of disturbing sexual tension simmering with your twin sister. Seriously super-ew, BTW. You’ve fallen in with smugglers, ex-cons, and, worst of all, muppets. Your little jaunt through the asteroid field has broken the hibernation cycle of the endangered space slugs.


You’ve caused me to take time off of my important work, following you around the galaxy, cleaning up your high-body-count messes while you stir up mayhem with your miscreant band of rebels. It is for these reasons, along with countless other destructive antics, that we’ve all decided to send you to the Coruscant Wellness and Midi-chlorian Detoxifying Center.


Please come willingly, we don’t want to have to freeze you in carbonite...Oh, right. A lightsaber? You really want to do this, Luke? I did, after all, kill ALL the Jedi...Well, except Yoda, because that just feels like stomping on a box of kittens.

For Star Wars Galaxies. Copyright Sony Online Entertainment. Carbonite bath by Smuggler’s Secret Specialty and Bail Bonds, Inc.

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